Ramblings of the hurt

My thoughts today are not focused and so distracted, by the many turmoil's going on in my life and the lives of others. I cannot understand at this point how to put them altogether, is this for me to try? Am I simply supposed to walk and not care for sight?
This adventure in which I am on seems lonely at times and without cause at others. Can I find within myself the reason for which I live? Am I the purpose for which I am here?
OF COURSE NOT!!!

Why do I ask such questions, is this my way of showing how very shallow I am?
Without Christ am I nothing? Surely I am! Then why do I think I should find peace and fulfillment outside His clutches.

God is love and I know love, or do I know love? What is love? "This is love, not we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to die for you and me" love is a choice and I must choose to love God and those around me in order to find the peace for which I so desprately seek.