Never give up, never surrender!

08-10-2005
A TIME TO LEARN AND GROW

God, as I learn about myself, and find areas I need to grow I pray that I might grow and learn without beating myself up. God I so often wonder if I am worth anything to anyone, but as I read your words I realize I am not only worth something I am worth a lot! you have given so much for me, yet I sit and whine about feeling bad and do you love me? does my wife love? am I worth loving? as I come back once again I realize when I am in love with you… I am worth loving. I find myself in you; I learn who I am and what I am supposed to be doing.
Lord you have not given us a spirit of timidity but one of power and strength; my struggles are very similar to Timothy as he struggled to show your power I do to. I say so often that i trust you and that you are going to provide in your time yet right after that I sit and wonder… is God going to provide? why do I not follow through with my words? am I a careless Christian? I’d like to think not but perhaps I am giving myself too much credit. if my words say one thing and my actions another than I had better get something straightened out!
I am just going to type out a few things that you have blessed me with in order to remind myself of your awesome provision and care. 1. a house. 2. a godly wife. 3. great friends. 4. awesome family. 5. great in-laws. 6. a good car. 7. cloths. 8. food. 9. a cheap and awesome school. 10. a good job. 11. many traveling experiences. 12. a computer. 13. a printer. 14. a bed. 15. furniture. 16. dressers. 17. a desk. 18 . a great church home. 19. beautiful creation. 20…
You have given me more than I deserve, oh so much more than I deserve and yet because it is from you it’s just what I needed. what an awesome and gracious God you are!


we cry “oh god you are my god”
yet walk with no visible signs
we ask for his blessings
yet focus only on self
we say, “you are my lord, oh YOU are my LORD”
yet we put you in the closet of our thoughts
we “shout to the Lord” for revival
but not for revival in our own hearts
we seek to be shown faithful
yet run at every sign of hard times
we yell at the top of lungs “God be glorified”
yet do not help the man on the corner
we give Him our hearts
yet yank them right back with more desire than when we gave them to Him

Jesus asked us a simple question: “Do you love me? We simply answer; Lord you know I am fond of you. He asks again; I ask you again do you love me! With almost flippancy we say; Lord you know I enjoy what you do for me.
we may use the words “lord I love you” but what do our actions say.
What are we telling our lord and Saviour, should He even have to ask if we love Him? or should our actions simply tell Him what we say or do not say and what we give or do not give.
This is the simple truth we simply don't want to admit, we say there is one true God of the universe. But we live like those who do not believe. There is great sadness in knowing this is true of myself, but we must right the ship before this continues! We must fight against this, we believe and know there to be one True God and we can with His power live as He calls us to.